Communication

How do you communicate with your dog? Do you rely upon treats to elicit certain actions? Do you have long verbal conversations? Does your dog ever talk back to you? Most likely not. I like to joke and tell people there’s a reason dogs are called man’s best friend--because they don’t talk verbally! Can you imagine the stories your dog could tell about you? Most of us shudder to think about it.

Over the years I’ve seen many repetitive problems between people and their pets. Most of the issues lead back to a failure of communication. As humans, we rely mostly on verbal communication to express our physical and emotional needs or desires. Often times we try to do the same thing with our pets. Dogs have an amazing capacity for associating words with things or actions because they are a learned animal, meaning they observe and remember patterns. If you get up every morning at the same time to start the coffee and let your dog out, he or she learned your pattern and knows what to expect at what time. If you change that pattern by trying to “sleep in,” your plan may be foiled by your dog pacing next to your bed anticipating your usual pattern. Verbal communication such as obedience commands like “sit” and “here” are another form of a pattern; they are repetitive words associated with a specific action. The average number of words a dog knows is constantly debated; however, dogs who live with the hearing impaired or who themselves are deaf still can communicate with their owners... Why?

The answer is energy. Although your pet may be learning words through your verbal language, he or she is mostly relying upon your energy to discern what you are trying to say and whether or not you mean it. You are the pack leader and your dog looks to you for direction. A wolf or dog pack has a hierarchy. Each member communicates dominance, subservience and direction via body language and energy: stiff legs, direct eye contact, alert tail and increased energy can be signs of dominance or aggression; head down and away, avoiding eye contact, giving space, tail down are signs of subservience. Similarly, your body placement, eye contact, and energy level all tell a dog how it should behave. That is why learning to transfer your energy to your pet in a calm assertive way will illicit the calm focused response you want.

Your non-verbal cues like body language, hand signals, eye contact and energy are much more effective at communication than verbal language. If you’ve ever had children you’ve probably experienced waking up just before them even though they didn’t make a sound. You felt their change in energy. Your dog does the same thing with you. Have you ever witnessed an animal behaving oddly or heard a dog start barking before you felt an earthquake? That animal picked up on the change of energy in the environment. In the last two tsunamis very few land animals died. Birds, elephants, domesticated and non-domesticated dogs were seen moving to higher ground before the tsunami hit. They felt the change in energy and knew how to react to it. The same thing occurs with the energy you project. The energy you give off is felt and interpreted by your dog. Maybe your pet sits by the door before you go on a vacation even though you haven’t even started to pack. How could they know what is going to happen? Your change in energy level communicated your plans to your dog.

Here are some typical examples of communication break downs between owner and pet that can be resolved through learning how to focus your energy:

People who have a skittish or nervous dog tend to directly face and loom over their pet while calling it in a sweet voice. Their verbal language is saying they aren’t a threat, but their energy and posture are communicating something else. Instead, keeping your energy level calm and consistent, making your presence smaller by squatting and turning slightly away with minimal to no eye contact will invite that animal into your space and communicate you are not posing a threat. There is no energy transfer when you make zero eye contact which puts the nervous animal more at ease. You’ve taken a subservient roll with your energy and body language; as a reward, the dog has come into your space.

On the other hand, you may have a confident dog that fails to listen to your commands. Do you tell him or her to stay at the door and the second you open it they bolt through it? When your dog is in front of you it cannot see your eyes or body language and therefore he or she takes off in spite of your verbal cue to stay. When you back your dog away from the door, face him or her, make eye contact and tell your dog in a calm assertive voice to stay, you are saying you own everything behind you. Your body language, direct eye contact and calm energy are communicating your dominance as pack leader. Your dog reads these non-verbal cues and obeys your command.

Another common communication break down is seen in the dog that jumps in your or your guests’ laps. If a dog starts jumping in your lap it’s because you initially transferred your energy to the dog; they cannot handle the increased energy, so they share their exuberance with you. Dogs are learned animals and will repeat patterns until your body language and energy says otherwise. If this behavior has given them attention before, they will repeat it. Use your body language and energy to your benefit not detriment. If you pet the dog and laugh while saying “off” or “down,” your words have no meaning since your increased energy and body language are encouraging the behavior. Instead, stop petting them until they back off and reward them for their calm proper state of mind when they are sitting or laying down. They will start to associate love and attention with being calm.

Proper communication through body language and energy is the key to having a companion who respects and loves you and is a pleasure to be around. Learning how to transfer your energy in a positive way is simple and can be accomplished with time and consistency. Thanks for reading! I’d love to hear your feedback. If you have any questions, or feel you need more hands on help, please feel free to contact me. I operate my dog training business out of the Bay Area and I look forward to hearing from and working with you.